Creating Your Life from the Inside Out
by Phillip C. McGraw
A Critique by T. Dale Pollard
This book is about finding your authentic self-your real self-and living it to the fullest. Dr. Phil, as he is usually referred to, sets out to show how it has been covered over by external factors and internal reactions. The result is a fictional self, a self made up of and lived according to the wishes and directives of others. His objectives throughout the book are to help readers see the predicament they are in: living a miserable, unfulfilling fictional life; and to help them get out of it.
He begins by relating how he was in a miserable situation for ten years after completing his doctoral degree in psychology. It happened because he was trying to please his dad by joining him in his practice. From this experience he learned that one may have all the nice things of life and succeed in every way but remain unhappy and unfulfilled, just because he is denying his authentic self, living according to a pattern already laid out for him.
The authentic self, he writes, must be reclaimed at all costs. One only goes around once. This is the only life he has. Life lived according to the authentic self is the only life worth living. Identifying and acknowledging one’s personal truth: “whatever it is that you, at the absolute, uncensored core of your being, have come to believe about you” is the starting place to reconnect with your life.
The zeal with which Dr. Phil tackles the task at hand is not easily overlooked. He strongly urges readers to break loose from binding influences and agents and take back the power-the power that rightly belongs to them-to run their lives the way they want. He grants permission to change where there is reluctance to do so because of fear, guilt, irrational ideas, false beliefs, etc.
To help individuals analyze their situation, he lists three probable external sources of their difficulties: (1) defining moments, (2) critical choices, and (3) pivotal people, factors in their past which contributed to making them what they are today, and will likely do so tomorrow, and for the rest of their lives. Their internal reactions-where they put the blame, what they are saying to themselves about what has happened to them, the labels they accept for themselves, etc.-to these “moments,” “choices,” and “people” produce a fictional self. And the more this is so, that is, the stronger the fictional self becomes, the deeper the authentic self becomes buried under all the foreign matter.
Fortunately, Dr. Phil proclaims, all of the power, creativity, and guidance needed to find oneself, the authentic self, are resident in the authentic self. “You began this life with a constellation of gifts, skills, abilities, traits, and characteristics that uniquely define you. You have within you every skill, capacity, insight, and wisdom necessary to your mission in life. If your journey through this life has been such that it has developed and nurtured that uniqueness, and you have stayed focused, then you have lived a life consistent with your authentic self. If not, a world-defined, fictional self has dominated you.”
As he passionately talks about the challenges of rescuing the authentic self, and the predictable positive outcomes, one could easily draw a comparison between the way he describes this experience and the born-again experience. “By answering some very pointed questions, reflecting on the various factors that contribute to your self-concept, and generally conducting a thorough and brutally honest audit of your own life, you will begin to feel a power and a peace that you may not have known for years, if at all.” After completing the tasks prescribed in this book, Dr. Phil assures the reader that “you’ll feel the sense of heaviness and restriction abate; you’ll find more energy for your purposes and discover that the promise of joy and peace is indeed true.” But he says nothing about the Holy Spirit’s moving into our lives to give new life and make known to us Jesus Christ and God our Father. The closest he comes to Spiritualizing the event is saying God created all mankind “with everything they’ll ever need to successfully fulfill their role” in life. Based on this acknowledgement, he states “We have within us everything we will ever need to be, do and have anything and everything we will ever want and need.” The goal in life is to allow this uniqueness to be expressed.
The void within, according to Dr. Phil, is due to the smothering out or inactivity of the authentic self. Releasing its passion, talents, vision, strengths, and special gifts brings fulfillment in life. Is this not a clear statement of humanistic philosophy which teaches that mankind is born innately good with creative potential that must be actualized for one to find meaningfulness in life?
One, on the quest for freedom, is given criteria to help distinguish fact from fiction in the testing of his perceptions. The criteria are in the form of four questions: (1) Is it a true fact? (2) Does holding on to the thought or attitude serve your best interests? (3) Are your thoughts and attitudes advancing and protecting your health? (4) Does this attitude or belief get me more of what I want, need, and deserve? Beliefs, values, internal dialogues, labels, etc. not measuring up to the 4-step standard are tossed out of one’s life. New ways and ideas meeting the requirements of the standard stay. A new way is initiated. In the past, one living according to the fictional self conformed to the expectations of others; now all must recognize and readjust to the “new self” emerging.
Pastors are urged to familiarize themselves with this one! It’s not necessarily because of the several secular theories/therapies he has incorporated into his general approach. Many others appearing on the scene over the years have also done this. Rather, it’s because of his zest, his assumed mission, his “calling” to reach all mankind and free them from the bondage imposed upon them by this inauthentic, fictional self. Particularly vulnerable are all of those unfulfilled saints who faithfully attend our church services week after week. Because of Dr. Phil’s writings, videos, seminars, and especially his weekly appearances on Oprah (plus being a guest and soon-to-be host on Larry King; then his own show, to debut this fall), saints are being affected now and likely will be in the future. I have no doubt that many are listening and applying the prescribed “salve” to the painful places in their lives. In my opinion, going this route will take them away from full dependence on God and a vibrant life in the Spirit.
Thankfully, many saints in our churches are Spiritually fulfilled and will recognize the Spiritually foreign and conflicting nature of this material and approach. Being thusly equipped, they can steer clear of it and not be taken in. Unfortunately, many are not adequately equipped and will not recognize the toxic elements contained therein. Such will be readily received and ingested because “it seems so right.” What a tragedy!
Pastors who are unsure themselves cannot lead their parishioners into absolute certainty. But that’s what is required (sureness, certainty) for Spiritual fulfillment to occur. It’s an experiential knowing that the Holy Spirit abides within, that we have a personal relationship with Him, and that He guides us every day in every thing. None of this is remotely alluded to in this book. Yet (to reiterate) it seems so right!
I want to conclude this critique with a question for you to ponder. Is the gospel message absolutely adequate for the complete restoration of mankind or is it necessary to add psychological principles to deal with the human side of mankind’s existence? If you answer the latter in the affirmative, then perhaps after reading the book, you will arrive at conclusions quite different from those expressed in this critique. From my observations I gather that this is a very significant issue in our movement today. I surmise that many of the differences among us are traceable back, directly or indirectly, to this issue.
T. Dale Pollard
POB 2471
Ardmore, Oklahoma 73402-2471
DOB: June 18, 1936
Ordained in the Assemblies of God: 1961
Education:
Southeast Missouri State University, Cape Girardeau, MO;
Murray State University, Murray, KY;
Oklahoma State University, Stillwater, OK;
- Read Responses Southwestern Assemblies of God University, Waxahachie, TX;
Work:
B. S., Bible; 1961.
B. S., History/Social Studies; 1968.
M. A., Counseling; 1969.
Ed.D., Educational Psychology, 1973.
Pastoral: 3 churches, ten years.
Books:
Public school: 1 year as teacher; 3 years as school psychologist.
College teaching: 8 years in Christian college (Evangel University,7;
Trinity Bible College, 1); 4 years in secular college (Columbia College).
Prison ministry: 2 ½ years as coordinator of correspondence school.
Itinerant ministry: 10 years.
Man of the Spirit, 1988
I Knew There Was More, 1988
The Guest Within, 1992
A Man’s Sexuality: The Central Feature of His Earthly Existence, 1996
Harmony in Christian Marriage, 1998
Let the Flesh Die: Concerned About My Church (unpublished manuscript)
Experiential Christianity Series (unpublished lesson series)
A Proposal for Pentecostal Education (unpublished manuscript)
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