Replacing Anger
Jonah 3:10-4:11

A Sermon by Dr. Neil Chadwick


Having just come through the Jewish holiday Yom Kippur, I was reminded of the story of Jonah, a story read each year in temples and synagogues in conjunction with this special day, the Day of Atonement. Of course, you may wonder, why "Jonah" on Yom Kippur? Evidently it has to do with conveying the message that God cares for, and is reaching out to people everywhere, even in pagan Nineveh.

But my interest in Jonah today is for a different reason.

In the last verse of Jonah chapter 3, we learn that God "had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction he had threatened." The next chapter begins with, "But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry." In fact, he was so upset, he actually prayed that God would take his life! Later, when a little worm destroyed the bush which had provided shade for Jonah, he became angry again, and wished to die. Then God pointed out how ludicrous this was. Jonah was upset because his shade tree had died, but in contrast to God, was totally unconcerned with the fate of a city.

Let's take a few minutes to talk about anger.

First, have you ever noticed how many ways we can say that we are angry without actually saying we are angry? Here's a list of a few of the euphemisms we use:

    We're peeved, upset, ticked off, steaming, hot, boiling, wild-eyed and livid;
    We fly off the handle, something or someone rubs us the wrong way, we have a bad temper;
    We're hotheads, something gets under our skin, and if looks could kill!

    At other times, anger is mis-named entirely. Instead of saying, "I'm angry," we say, "I'm frustrated, disappointed, hurt, offended, disgusted, disgruntled, wounded, or aggravated."

Secondly, have you ever noticed that like Jonah, we too become very angry over comparatively petty things?

Just think about it for a moment, what is it that made you angry this week?

    The mail was not delivered on time.
    You were assessed a $25.00 late fee because your credit card payment didn't make it in on time.
    Without asking, your sister borrowed your beautiful, white sweater and then spilled spaghetti sauce on it.
    Another car cut yours off as traffic merged in a construction zone.
    Someone called you a name, or saluted you with an unacceptable gesture.
    The garbage was not taken out.
    The person in front of you had a carriage full of food in a ten item check-out lane.
    The toilet seat was left up.
    Your parents accused you of doing something you did not do.
    You didn't get the test score you deserved.
    Spilled food was ground into your new sofa.
    You stubbed your toe while rushing to beat the late buzzer at work.
    Your computer froze up while you were in the middle of a letter, and you had not backed it up it.
    Someone else finished off the ice cream carton.

We all know what it feels like when anger is present: the heart beats faster, the face gets redder, veins in the neck stick out, the eyes squint, focus is lost, there are involuntary impulses to formulate a response, or plan a mode of revenge, and we lash out at those closest to us even though they may not represent the reason for our anger in the first place.

What should we do at such times? In the new language of today, what should be our strategy for "anger management?"

We live in a culture which promotes freedom, honesty and self expression - putting those together, people seem to feel OK about expressing their anger any old way they please, after all, feelings are feelings, and you can't help it, and certainly shouldn't try to "stuff it."

What we call "pop-psychology" is touted all around us, with seemingly informed advice coming from all directions. We're told that great dangers lurk in the recesses of the soul when anger is internalized - so let it out. Whatever you do, don't stuff it, it's better to express it, punch a pillow or a wall, find a way to vent. People are often heard saying, "That's just the way I am, I just speak my mind." And they do it with the apparent blessing of all the advice givers.

Unfortunately there are many who, because they haven't dealt with the inner sources of the anger, go beyond speaking their minds.

    A number of years ago, a man came to the church to ask for prayer. We went into the chapel and knelt down at the altar, but before we prayed he shared with me the torment of his soul. Many years earlier he had caught his wife cheating on him and he became enraged. So he lured the man who had done this into a cellar of an abandoned house, and proceeded to shoot out each of the man's elbows and knees and left him there - he never knew if the man lived or died. Never having been caught, now, many years later, he was not able to shed the pain of guilt.

When it comes to anger expressed by parents toward their children, we can't help think that this is one of the great scourges of our day. We used to say, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me," but now we know better. Angry verbal attacks have left life-long damage, never mind the physical beatings many children have endured at the hands of parents whose anger is out of control. Perhaps you've seen the parking lot surveillance tape which captured a seemingly endless beating, violent shaking and hair pulling of a four year old girl by her mother. And just think of all the times this happens when no video recording is made.

While on vacation a few weeks ago I happened to come across a sale table at a large bookstore in the city of my birth, Keene, NH. My brother, who has traced our family line back for several hundred years, had verified what my grandmother had always said, that we have descended from the Adams family which provided two of our earliest Presidents. So when I saw the new, well acclaimed biography of John Adams on the 20% off table, I could not resist. On one occasion, Adams reflected on the immaturity of his own angry outburst. "When a visiting Englishman began extolling the English sense of justice, Adams exploded. . ." and later wrote in his diary, "I cannot but reflect upon myself with the severity of these rash, inexperienced, boyish, raw and awkward expressions. A man who has not better government of his tongue, no more command of his temper, is unfit for everything but children's play and the company of boys." (p.70)

But today, it's not what man thinks that concerns us most, it's what the Bible says.

Jesus made it clear that not only those who murder will be judged, but ". . . anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment." (Matthew 5:22) Furthermore, it's in the heart that evil behaviors are born (Matthew 15:18,19), and no doubt that's why Paul taught, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2)

James picks up the same theme when he writes that ". . . man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." (James 1:20)

But one of the clearest statements in Scripture concerning anger is when Paul wrote, "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." (Ephesians 5:26, 27) Or as it is stated in the King James Version, "Be ye angry and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil."

So are you angry, and who are you angry with?

Like Jonah, are you angry with God? Or are you angry at yourself? your parent? your spouse? your child? your boss? Or are you just plain angry? at life? at everybody and everything? Certainly the beginning point is to say the word, to admit the anger. The next step would be to bring your anger to the One who has the power to do the internal renovations necessary to relieve or redirect the anger.

Now let's go back to the story of Jonah. What we notice is that at the end of the story, God made a comparison between Jonah's anger over the withered bush and God's own feelings toward the 120,000 needy people of the great city, Nineveh (Jonah 4:9-11). The message seems clear - trade in your anger so that it can be turned into compassion.

We might say it this way, instead of having a "fit of passion," we are "fit with compassion" when we become like our Heavenly Father. When we understand that God has created us with the ability to be angry, and that anger is a source of strength to be utilized for good, we will earnestly seek direction to channel the anger into the beneficial behaviors and activities.

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