An Article Written by Dr. Neil Chadwick
What follows is a brief survey for husbands and wives to take. Ten statements in five categories are provided in order to give couples an agenda for conversations concerning their marriage.
Read each statement carefully. If the statement is TRUE, circle the letter "T", if FALSE, circle "F", or if you are UNCERTAIN, circle the "U". Husbands and wives should complete the survey independently.
Following the completion of the survey, plan for a series of at least five periods of uninterrupted time to discuss these statements with your wife or husband. (Do this for only one section of the survey at a time.) It is suggested that you follow this pattern:
(2) Listen to your partner as they do the same for one set of statements. It may be that after talking it over with your spouse you will change your letter from "U" to either "T" or "F". Make sure you explain why you are making this change.
(3) Next, discuss one by one, the statements which are marked with a "T" - the statements which you feel are TRUE, and finally those you felt were FALSE ("F"). Please note that some statements, when marked TRUE point out a need for improvement, while some marked FALSE are actually positive statements. Give special attention to those statements which you and your spouse answered differently.
(4) Follow the same process each time you discuss one of the five sections of statements: the first partner listens carefully to the other's statements and explanations; ask questions only for crarification; repeat the statement beginning with the words, "So you feel that . . . ." If this feedback is acceptable, the couple will go on to the next statement in the set. Then the second partner will follow the same pattern.
(5) After both have completed their explanations of statements within one set, each partner should complete the following statement, "The one change that I personally am willing to make is . . . "
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